From Teenage Girls to to Military Veterans: Self-Care is For Everyone!
At the Museum of Happiness we’re passionate about making the world a kinder, happier place. And last week it was Time to Talk Day, which aims to reduce the stigma around mental health, with two extra-special events.
At Tuesday’s Ernest and Young Foundation’s Young Women's Network event our co-founder Vicky was invited to share her personal journey, the story of the MOH, and ways to look after your mental and emotional wellbeing to forty 14-15 year old girls.
Vicky jumped at the chance to volunteer her time there - even though it came right after a Happiness Facilitator Training weekend. Why? Because all of us at the Museum know that if we'd learnt the science of happiness (ie through meditation, gratitude and self-compassion practices) at their age, it would have reduced so much suffering in our lives.
Everyone played gratitude bingo, then Vicky guided them in a present moment awareness meditation and shared two self-compassion questions that have made a huge difference in her life: "What do I need to best take care of myself right now?" and "What's the kindest thing I can do for myself right now?" These are great questions for ALL of us to ask ourselves!
Vicky also asked the girls to make a happiness pledge, and it was so heartwarming to hear their enthusiasm about starting a gratitude practice, with many wanting to download the FREE Insight Timer app and start a meditation practice.
Only two attendees had a gratitude practice before the workshop, and only one had a meditation practice. But tools like these help us to develop the resources we need to be happier and more resilient to stress -no matter how old we are!
And then on Time to Talk day itself the Museum spent the day with around seventy JP Morgan ex-military veterans; people who are in a huge transition period in their lives. They’ve served their country for many years and now want to focus more on their family and their well-being in their next phase. JPM has a strong emphasis on supporting the ex-military and runs internships to support people through this challenging transition.
The Museum ran a session on Learning to Surf (the waves of life), inspired by Jon Kabat-Zinn’s quote, "We can't stop the waves but we can learn to surf".
With a really strong emphasis on self-care and practices for mental and emotional resilience, we shared how self-care isn't a fluffy thing with baths and candles, and how the most successful people in the world like Barack Obama, Bill Gates and Serena Williams all credit their success to having solid, non negotiable self-care practices.
The group shared their internal weather and reflected back that it was really permission-giving to do so. There was a real sense of common humanity in the room - that everyone was feeling the same and how nice it was to "take off the mask" and just be real with each other, and how the world needs so much more of that!
We also introduced the wheel of life with the group - a coaching tool to help people rate the different areas of their life - and highlighted how important it is to put time and energy into ALL the different areas of life. Work is just one segment and we can often get tunnel vision!
We shared the importance of not leaving our happiness to evenings and weekends, too, but to schedule things that bring us joy and energy and peace and calm into our everyday lives. As the Dalai Lama says, "Happiness doesn't come ready made, it comes from your own actions". In fact, Professor Sonia Lyubomirsky shares that a whole 40% of happiness is influenced by our actions in fact and only 10% is influenced by our income and environment!
The group also tried meditation (for the first time, for many!) It was wonderful to hear so many participants express that they felt calmer and more peaceful after trying it, and that they now hoped to do it at bedtime to help them sleep better.
Everyone seemed passionate about starting a gratitude practice and helping their families to do the same, too (as everyone was going through a huge transition, with most families moving house and finding new schools). Did you know that a gratitude practice is one of the most research-backed ways to make a positive difference to your life?
No wonder there was a real sense of relief in the group when we shared that our brains have a negativity bias, we have approx 70,000 thoughts a day and, furthermore, that "thoughts aren't facts!"
We also explored the different stories we tell ourselves, and we shared how to "drop the story".
(If you haven’t heard this powerful phrase before, Brene Brown explains it wonderfully in her Netflix special The Call to Courage and also in this clip.)
The most heartwarming and inspiring thing was to see so many men really lean into the self-care and self-compassion practices that we shared. We all need to give ourselves the care we need, and it was so powerful to see them realise and appreciate that this as a source of strength and courage rather than a sign of weakness or something just for women.
At the end of the event everyone shared their actions for happiness (inspired by the session!) It was amazing to witness how many participants felt called to prioritise self-care now and to really see the value in it, to start a meditation and gratitude practice, and to try to treat themselves as they would treat a good friend.
Whether you’re a teenage girl or an ex-military veteran, we ALL need to give ourselves the self-care and self-compassion we need to flourish and fulfil our potential. So if you’re feeling inspired, please invite us into your workplace or receive PRIORITY NOTICE of our up-coming self-care event Strong Love on the 19th of April by signing up here. Because it’s time we all gave ourselves Strong Love!
The view from our JP Morgan workshop! We were very grateful to be given the CEO’s meeting lounge to run our training in (which we have now nicknamed the wellbeing lounge! :))
A very special thanks
to Psychologist and MOH teacher Sarah Waite for going beyond the call of duty with the time, love and care she put into the JPM veterans training. Thank you Sarah for all you do to make the world a happier, kinder place.
