How To Have a HAPPY WORLD this Christmas!
Each month this year we’ve brought you a new post on how to make it a HAPPY WORLD through our 10 Habits of Happiness.
We’ve explored everything from Appreciation to Direction, so this month we’ll discover how these habits can make your festive season even better!
Our guest blogger Anya Pearse from Let The Love In, with help from Sarah Waite at SĒING Sound Meditations, explores how to make this Christmas happier and more peaceful.
Habits
One of the great things about December is how it offers us a break from our routine - who doesn’t love an excuse to eat, drink and have more fun?
But those same breaks and additions to our diary can leave us feeling off-balance and out of sorts. Add in rich food, hours slumped in front of the TV, and a lack of daylight or exercise, and no wonder so many of us feel sluggish.
How can you create a small self-care routine as an anchor during all the festivities? The easiest habits to keep are obvious, attractive, easy and satisfying - especially if you stack them with an existing habit.
Can you meditate for just one minute whenever you put the kettle on, or when you take public transport? Can you do a few yoga stretches as soon as you wake up ? Or can you change into your running gear as soon as you get home? What would work for you?
Meditation: https://insighttimer.com/ + http://headspace.com
Yoga: https://www.youtube.com/user/TaraStilesYoga/playlists (Check out the in-bed routines!)
Exercise: https://www.nike.com/gb/en_gb/c/nike-plus/training-app + https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/get-running-with-couch-to-5k/
Appreciation & Gratitude
With both Christmas and New Year’s Eve amongst its 31 days, December is the perfect time to take stock of what we’re grateful for - be it friends, family, new opportunities or the things we’ve overcome.
Writing down everything we’re grateful for is also a fun way to spend that weird twilight-zone between Christmas and New Year. By harvesting our diaries we can get a sense of how much we’ve achieved without really noticing, and get a sense of what we want more of (and what we don’t!) in the coming new year (and new decade!)
Research shows that gratitude helps our minds, bodies and relationships, so why not join our free Museum of Happiness gratitude group on Facebook and spread the love? https://www.facebook.com/groups/MoHGratitude/
Playfulness & Creativity
The festive season provides so many opportunities to play and be creative! From getting together with loved ones to play classics like Cluedo or Monopoly, to visiting a Winter Wonderland with friends, to making decorations with children, it’s a great way to boost your wellbeing.
The best thing of all, it doesn’t take oodles of cash to be creative and playful. So why leave the glitter and glue to the under fives! Why not invite friends over to make traditional paper chains from old magazines - making this Christmas both colourful AND green!
Purpose & Meaning
At this time of year, it’s easy to be swept up by the drive to buy gifts and spend money. But by remaining connected to our sense of purpose, and embracing the meaning of what we’re giving, we can remain more grounded and ensure that our actions are coming from a healthier place.
A great way to do this is to buy gifts that help others, too. Traidcraft has supported numerous small communities with their fair-trade food and items for 40 years, with things often available at your nearest Oxfam. Or why not try a Zero Waste christmas market, or buy items direct from the makers at a weekend market?
And remember, not everyone is spending Christmas in the warm or with loved ones. So why not buy real gifts for refugees at https://helprefugees.org/choose-love and spread your love beyond your friends and family?
You & the World
In the heart of winter, it’s tempting to follow a grizzly bear’s lead; eat tons of food, find somewhere warm, and essentially hibernate.
But getting out into the (admittedly, cold) fresh air, and spending time in nature, can be even more important at this time of year. Studies show how time in nature is good for our wellbeing, and as much fun as Christmas can be for many of us, it can also be a really stressful time, too. A five-minute walk in the cold may not be an obvious mood-booster, but it may just give you the break you need!
December is also a great opportunity to be mindful of the impact our shopping has on the environment. So why not ask someone what they really want, to avoid unwanted gifts that languish in a drawer? Using brown paper and ribbon to wrap gifts looks chic, and it can all be reused. And avoid excess packaging; no-one needs a ton of plastic around a box of bath salts!
Wisdom & Wonder
The long dark nights of winter are the perfect time for clear skies, frosty mornings, and inner reflection. When we give ourselves the time to pause and take a breath, we can allow our own inner wisdom to quietly speak inside us.
It’s also the perfect time to catch up on your reading. So why not create the tiny habit of reading one page a night of something that nourishes you? Books like When I loved Myself Enough: Inspiring words to help you find happiness and Joy by Kim McMillen with Alison McMillen, Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life by Thich Nhat Hanh, or Radical Acceptance: Awakening the Love that Heals Fear and Shame by Tara Brach are full of life-changing wisdom.
Observe & Be Mindful
The festive season is the perfect time to delight your inner child! With colourful lights decorating the spaces we pass through every day, it’s a great excuse to pay a little more attention to the places we often take for granted.
It’s so easy to be caught up in our to-do lists and shopping lists, but we can also build in tiny habits to bring us back into the present moment!
Perhaps you can really smell the citrus oils each time you break into a tangerine; perhaps you can feel the foil each time you hold a mince pie; perhaps you can notice the soft brush of your jumper as you put it on in the morning.
Each day offers a myriad of moments to bring us back into the present one, if we let ourselves notice them.
Relationships
Get past the trees, toys, and tinsel - what’s the festive season about, really? It’s about spending time with friends and loved ones. The greatest gift we can give those we love is often ourselves and our full attention.
But so many of us are finding that harder and harder to do. Sending a quick text when you’re busy feels so much easier than making a call or seeing someone in person. Text-based communication is a great way to share information, but we’re designed to need something more. So how can you create a habit of more meaningful interactions with those you care about?
One of the best ways to do this is to express your gratitude for loved ones! Write them a short letter, telling them why you’re grateful to them. Be specific; focus on one particular incident, the effect they had on you, and what that’s meant for you going forward.
They’ll treasure it far more than any text message!
Love & Self-Compassion
With so much focus on other people at this time of year, it’s easy to overlook yourself - and what you may need.
So it’s even more important to make yourself a priority, and to give yourself the care and compassion you require. How can you be your own best friend over the festive season? How can you ensure that you don’t burn-out, push yourself too hard, or take on too much?
One of the easiest ways to do this is to have a little check-in with yourself on a regular basis, and to ask yourself these three questions:
“What’s the kindest thing I can do for myself right now?”
“What would a wise and kind friend say?”
“What do I need to best take care of myself right now?”
These questions are easy to remember when we’re feeling good, but less so when we’re not - and when we need them the most!
So why not turn them into a habit? If you know that mid-afternoon slumps are a difficult time for you, why not set a reminder on your phone which asks you these questions? Maybe you can make a list of the things that might help in advance, so you don’t need to think too hard or to make a decision when you’re struggling?
Direction
December is about more than just festivities; it’s also brings us to the end of another year. It’s a natural invitation to look back and see how far we’ve come, and to think about where we want to go.
Getting clear on where we’re heading - choosing a direction - can help us to realign with our values.
Because our values act like a compass, helping us to choose a direction that is right for us. They also help us notice whether our thoughts and behaviours are taking us closer to what’s important to us, or if they take us further away.
Furthermore, when we have a direction to aim for we can then place any challenging feelings or thoughts we have into a bigger context. According to acceptance and commitment therapy, we often hurt in the same places we care.
So when we feel anxious, stressed or self-doubting, our discomfort becomes a reminder of how much we care about something.
So, what’s important to you? What values do you wish to align with? Maybe it’s family, maybe it’s education, maybe it’s kindness. And how can you set a direction for the coming year which reflects what’s truly meaningful to you?
And finally…
There is no “right” way to do the holidays, only the way that’s right for you. For some of us that means a week-long feast with our family; for others, a quiet day alone with no-one fighting you for the TV remote.
If the sight of lots of people celebrating makes you feel more lonely, you’re not alone. Be kind to yourself and remember, whether you feel it or not, you are still valued and loved.
Anya Pearse is studying an MSc in Applied Positive Psychology, is a Museum of Happiness volunteer, and helps smart and sensitive individuals find relief through self-compassion, connection and communion. Learn more at LetTheLoveIn.com and sign up for her newsletter here.
